Waiting

As the days turned into weeks, I waited for a response from my birth mother or an update from my "emissary." My greatest fear was that she would never call, followed closely by an intense belief that she might call and say "thanks, but no thanks." It was entirely possible that I would only have one chance to ask the questions I longed to hear answered. I had promised that I would honor whatever decision she made. To do that, it was imperative that I be ready if that call came in order to maximize the opportunity in the event that it was the only chance I ever had.


Below is the list of questions that emerged as essential to the core of my search for my biological roots. There are undoubtably significantly more that I could have asked, but these are the ones that guided me, that encouraged me, that drove me forward over the years as I searched. If time was of the essence, these were the ones I wanted answered.

• As much medical information as possible: no detail is trivial, beginning with her health & circling out, her other children if any, her siblings, her parents, her grandparents
• Her life since me: marriage, other children, career, hobbies
• Circumstances around my birth: did she name me? If so, what was I named? Where was I born (city, hospital, time)?
• Family history: stories about her life growing up, her parents and siblings

I didn't want to act as though I was going through a checklist so I decided it would be best to focus on areas of discussion and write down whatever information she volunteered. If I was given the opportunity to develop a relationship with her, I could follow up later on was learned on the first call.
What would you have wanted to know?