More Information to Obsess About

The file about me, hidden safely in the Catholic Charities filing cabinet, surely could yield more. Certainly I should be allowed to know what "spanish descent" meant--vague 70s terminology meant nothing to me. It seemed reasonable to ask about discrepancies in the report, such as the remark that there was no cancer in the "alleged" birth father's family, while his brother was listed as having died of leukemia.

Persistence and the dogged stubbornness that I am known and less loved for pushed me forward.

One day, after five years had passed, I sent off a very polite letter with questions asking for some clarification.

And I waited. And waited. And still waited.

At long last (three months later), I received a reply letter from the same social worker who had compiled the initial two page report. In it, she addressed my eight questions.

1. Were there circumstances surrounding the pregnancy discussed with Catholic Charities?
Your alleged birth father was married and had other children, however, he was separated from his wife at the time your birth mother became pregnant. Your birth parents had a short-lived relationship and your birth mother felt you would have a better life if adopted.

2. Was your maternal grandmother originally from Italy?
No

3. Was she (your birth mother) working at the time of surrender?
Your birth mother had plans to return to her job, but the record is unclear as to whether or not she was working at the time of surrender.

4. When were the surrender documents signed?
This information is considered identifying--unable to respond.

5. Clarification of "full Spanish descent"--alleged birth father's ethnic background Your alleged birth father was Cuban--from Cuba.

6. Was the alleged birth father interviewed by the agency?
Yes

7. Any information on how these seemingly dissimilar people met?
Your alleged birth father and birth mother met at your alleged birth father's place of employment.

8. Did the alleged birth father sign the surrender document?
Paternity was never formally established.

Knowing that my alleged birth father had actually been interviewed by the agency was huge. First, that meant he knew about me. Second, he cared enough about my birth mother to be involved with the process. Third, the information about him was probably somewhat reliable because it came from his mouth directly, not from my birth mother.

This was key. A Cuban golf pro? In upstate NY? In 1970?? Even more bizarre...my father??

If this information wasn't a red herring made up by some very demented social worker at Catholic Charities, it was a very valuable piece of potentially identifying information. I mean, really? How many men fitting that description could there really be? I was certain that finding him would solve the mystery. I was even more convinced this would be easy puzzle to solve.