The tickets were purchased, the hotel reservations made, the reply card returned for my cousin's wedding. A day I had waited a lifetime for was actually going to happen. So why was I so calm? Why wasn't I nervous? Why I wasn't freaking out?
Preparation, preparation and more preparation. A lifetime of preparation, two decades of potential scenarios and two years of conversations. I hadn't rushed into this. I hadn't forced this. I was ready and more importantly, so was she.
I focused on creating a scrapbook that I could give to L that would give her a visual record of many key moments in my life that included pictures and stories about everyone closest to me including my parents, my brother, my aunts/uncles/cousins, my grandparents, my friends and of course, my husband. I wanted to be certain that I wouldn't forget to tell her any stories that she might want to hear and wanted to leave her with proof that my life has always been a wonderful one. I knew that, until she saw a pictorial record, she might never allow herself to truly believe that her decision was the right one, one that she need not feel guilty about any longer.
Fourth of July as Midsummer
2 weeks ago